There has been a break down in the spiritual armor. My body wants to tell me I am weak. But, refuse to let my carnal mind tell me to be sick. Once, the mind and body conspire to take down the spirit, it gives the whole being permission to give up. So, if the "ego" wants to be sick then all the being's elements are defeated and being sick comes easy But, as long as my spirit is strong I believe I am able to press on through the day. It reminds me of when I walk pass a small house. I am amazed by how a small house may visually appear shy, but then within its belly it is a realm of beauty. Live within your means.
But, in this small home, like in small towns, there is an emptiness that exists and only a certain small group are able to understand. The emptiness ties your loins into a large knot where confusion breeds and you want to be re'leaved' at first sight of daylight elsewhere. Small towns are like a barrel of crabs. When one crab appears to be making it out of the barrel the other crabs find some reason to pull him/her back down.
Anyone is capable of untying the knot free themselves from the pain. NO man is a slave to their own illusions. But, at this moment my limbs ache and seem to be incapable of soothing the walls that protect everything that lives within. Every wall itches with pain and I can't figure out yet how to persuade them to settle down so that we all can be freed together with the sun. I believe the sun defines the happiness that great spiritual leaders refer to when they lecture about love and compassion. I would live for that type of love.