I believe the safest place is in my head. No matter the situation I am able to transform forms of reality or fantasy into an emotional thought. This provides the intellect to yoke the mind and the heart. However, it is and eternal battle due to my mind not wanting me there. And a result of my minds opposition to integration I walk in and out of my head like the father who doesn't know how to be a human to his children. It hurts to know that I have to subject my being to these psychological antics. I leave because I want to ease the blinding tension between my eyes. At times confusion reigns supreme and I am unable to determine what is important. But, when I able to release the pressure I know that it is important for me to feel safe; safe within mysef.
Daily, I attempt to find peace among the conversation that circles my head like hungry vultures. However, I am not dead. God or what I consider to be the power of sHe gives me the strength to continue to search for an answer; an answer that will make sense of the concept of Nothing. Maybe, I should look deeper into the signs that sHe places in my life. I know I must find a way to be in my head, but not be in my head. Now, that seems like a poetic riddle that is a poem that I recite to an audience that doesn't know that I haven't written it yet. The only way they will understand what I am saying is if I give a 4 minute "apostrophe" for them to take a breath.